My Big Girl

Ten days ago, Zoë turned four, as predicted. So, as she, herself, proclaimed -- Zoë's now a "big girl".

Days leading up to this big deal, she started dressing herself and putting her dishes in the sink, and all these other big girl things. I think the biggest excitement for us was that this was the first birthday where she was fully excited and aware of the big day. The other years, the birthday was more about our excitement and marking her milestones, she probably barely noticed. But this time... she noticed! (and we benefitted -- mornings are so much easier when she can brush her teeth, get clothes on and put her own shoes on!)

Sure, I miss cute, cuddly, diapered baby Zoë with the giggles and wobbly steps, but there are plenty of rewards when I realize that she can be independent and do things by her "own self". It is hard not to get sentimental about her cute outfits that don't fit anymore, or see her cloth-bottomed shoes and finger-sized booties and remember her nearly featherweight snoozing warmth swaddled in my arms. But then, it is so much more satisfying to be needed these days for fun and play than for food, diaper-changing, and those basic needs. "Mommy, I NEED you! Come play with me."

Of course, such a momentous age as "4" needed to be celebrated in as many ways as possible. Zoë had a class party. Actually, it was a Valentine's Day party, but most of the kids now associate V-day with Zoë Day (true story: one of the kids went home and told their mother that they weren't allowed to say "Happy Valentine's Day" because Zoë wasn't there and it was her special day). They sang to her like 3 times, before Mommy finally appeared with the obligatory payesh (rice pudding).

Then there was the celebration at Frosting, the cupcake cafe. (In case you are concerned about the number of cupcakes consumed in these celebrations, please refer to the earlier posting about that impossibility of "too many cupcakes" because of the theory of Tummy Chambers.)

We opened presents and Zoë sported her new backpack around the apartment and we soon got started making the dollhouse sent by her grandparents (that's her screwing together the walls all by herself)! Other presents were also read, played with, and worn within 24 hours of being opened. She loved everything and got settled making her Thank you cards, which now are beautifully signed by her own signature. On her birthday, I received a beautiful present of her impressive artwork!
 

Then we celebrated with all her friends at BounceU, a giant warehouse of inflatable slides, gym and climbing, and ate pizza and cake. I think even Zoë was then all birthday'ed out... until she began discussing her plans for her NEXT birthday. That's it -- she's hooked. It's official now: she's a BIG girl. Our little big girl :)

Growing up: cupcakes, rainbows, asbestos, and Annabelle

Zoë is now three years old. My friends have warned that three is a tricky age, but so far so good. Well, almost. The days leading up to and including the birthday were a little ... icky. Actually, let's go back to the birthday party, which was actually the weekend before (Feb 11).

Zoë had a party at a music center, with her buddies from school and a very nice music instructor, Sherri, who chose Zoë's favorite music -- songs about trains, "Roy G. Biv" about rainbows, and old classics like "Hokey Pokey". Only... after a relatively calm (read: boring!) Winter, the weather on this random Saturday in February decided to entertain us with all heaven had to offer: snow, ice, sleet, ... all offered in dark, pelting fashion at exactly the time that Zoë's party was supposed to begin. So... things did not go exactly as planned.

The biggest lessons I have learned in parenting: 1. Make plans, or you are sure to fail. 2. Always expect plans will be demolished in the most unexpected ways. Hey-- I can't complain that life isn't spontaneous and interesting! Anyway, about half the guests made it and all had fun, ate cupcakes, and made music. See the pictures here (press play to see the whole slideshow! There are a couple of videos too. The pictures aren't great because of the flurry of activity and low light conditions -- again, I blame the weather!))

Upon returning from the successful party, we find an email awaiting us at home. Zoë's school will be closed on Monday because someone drilled in a ceiling tile where they were not supposed to and ... now there was asbestos exposure and the clean up and testing would close the center for the weekend and Monday too. Well... embracing spontaneity, Zoë and I spend the morning back at the MusiKids center -- since their open play was on Monday morning, we had never been here (besides for her birthday party) and here was a shining opportunity. In anticipation of turning three (as we were informed, "3" is almost grown up and Zoë is almost as big as us, we are "4", after all. Eh... who's counting those extra 30 years anyway?), she put her coat on by herself... as you can see here, we are still mastering some of our skills before becoming totally independent. Kudos for trying! We had a super time with bubbles, and meeting new friends, and climbing and silly time. As for work... Daddy came home in the afternoon and Mommy practiced super-efficiency.
Then, Zoë's birthday and Valentine's Day: cupcakes are ready for school party, but Zoë is lying on the floor saying that she doesn't want to go to school. Of course! It's because Mom was so much fun yesterday, right? Well... after checking all body parts, nothing seemed amiss, except general lacklusterness. I was reluctant, but decided, maybe she needed a bit more sleep. But... in about an hour, she was burning with 104 degree fever. Hmmm... off to the Dr. and the rest is too sad for documenting here among her well-wishers. As I like to put it, we spent this day much like her first one on this Earth -- Mom and Dad worrying for her health, lots of snuggling and cuddling, and sleeping and resting. With the gift of Tylenol, we managed a sad-ish birthday celebration complete with homemade cupcakes (those never made it to school after all) and payesh (yup, somewhere in this weekend, I managed to made a yummy batch of this!), candles and gift opening. Plans 400-410 for this day out the window...(somewhere in that was some silly New Year's resolution about "cutting back on sweets"... someone had to eat the cupcakes and pudding and make space on the counter and in the fridge! Matt helped too.)

This is getting to be a long birthday post, but wait! The story has a happy ending, no fear. Zoë's school came through asbestos-free, Zoë recovered fever-free (and soon enough, Mom and Dad through stages made it too through their respective illnesses-- damn Global warming and the crazy weather. Hello Daffodils... shouldn't you still be sleeping? Go away Cheery Blossoms-- not yet, I say! Oh look, it's hailing now. sigh.)
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Matt and I have been compiling our favorite random Zoë-isms... today alone, there were two gems (you can't make this sort of thing up!) --

1. Annabelle, author extraordinaire:

Z: Choo- choo baby needs to make a card for Annabelle.

Me: Who's Annabelle?

Z: She's the Children's book author.

Me: (feeling awfully out of the loop... yikes, how did I miss this great celebrity?)Oh yeah? What did she write?

Z: Oh. She writes about Choo choo baby.

Me: (slap head with palm... right! How could I forget?! The imaginary author... that Zoë, the wise, worldly, and well-read three year old, invented over breakfast this fine day...) Aha! hmmm... I can't remember the name of her book. What was it again?

Z: (with some attitude, if I might add)Welllll... Car and Bus -- that's the name.

How silly of me to forget... the adventurous Choo choo baby explores the world in car and bus, but of course. Naturally.
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2. Later, as we are getting ready to nap, Mommy and Zoë are being affectionate.

Me: Zoë, have a good nap and I love you.

Z: (patting Mommy's face gently)Yes, I love you too. Always remember to love yourself.

Me: Wow. That's really nice. Who taught you that? Did someone say this to you?

Z: (And I know this will be shocking to all of you... )Choo choo baby.

I really need to start writing up these stories in a book. Adventures of Zoë and Choo choo baby., my pseudonym would be... Annabelle.

an Acorn.

Rather than apologizing for the long gap, I will try to share a sampling of evidence that Zoë has grown in the meantime ... One big update is that she is now an Acorn. She has been promoted from "Dragonfly" to "Acorn" and managed to adjust to the new class, teachers, and buddies. She is a TWO-YEAR OLD! No longer a baby... and yet, always my baby :)

Here are some vignettes highlighting other gems of Zoë's "growth":

• "I want Buddha": This may be an old story, but worth documenting in her blog. At the young age of 20 months, she has shown an uncanny affinity to Buddha. I was away at the Swift proposal review, when Matt took her to a Vietnamese restaurant for dinner and she pointed to the statue in the corner and clearly showed interest and said "Buddha". This was interesting, since her only other introduction was 4 months prior at an Indian restaurant where a huge, wall-sized gold Buddha apparently made quite an impression on her. But after coming home, Matt gave Zoë a tour of Buddhism (courtesy of Wikipedia). They also (re-)discovered our Buddha on a bookshelf. At this time, Zoë had only recently shown minimal interest in dolls and stuffed toys, but this Buddha became her security object. Especially during meals, she wanted Buddha close by. (Keep in mind, our Buddha statuette is made of heavy rock and almost acts like a paperweight... it isn't cuddly nor easy to manipulate.) One day, Zoë and Matt were on the way to the store, but Zoë adamantly refused to go because "I want Buddha. I WANT BUDDHA!!!" This sparked a long religious lesson about how Buddhism is about suffering and about detachment and if she were a real Buddhist she would carry Buddha in her heart and this statue is only an illusion, etc. etc. etc... Zoë listened respectfully. But... "I WANT BUDDHA!" (Update: in the following several months, she has made significant headway into embracing the purer Buddhism philosophy and has practiced detachment with the "Buddha" statue more and more.)
• "A Dose of Sympathy": In the mornings, while combing her hair and getting her ready, Zoë and I play the game of "Faces" -- "show me a happy face... now, Zoë's sad... " etc. Mainly this is to entertain her while I get her ready... but this day in January, Mommy bumped her head and I pretended that I really got very hurt and I pretended to cry and cry and cry. For a while Zoë seemed to think it was funny, but when I didn't stop she looked very shocked and horrified. Then all of a sudden, she began to cry. I think she was so forlorn to see Mommy in such a state that she felt helpless and maybe even empathetic. I told her that a hug and some gentle patting would make me feel better and we soothed each other -- me for my head "boo-boo" and her for her sympathetic nerve "boo-boo". Then we played.
  
• "Curiosity never potty-trained the cat (or the girl, for that matter)": In the last few weeks, Zoë has shown more and more curiosity in the potty. She seems to have a "love-hate" relationship with it (also the vacuum -- she runs away and hides when we vacuum, but always wants us to vacuum ... we will call this curiosity). She has coined several unique phrases, encapsulating her love for the potty, like "Giggle giggle POT-ttteeee" (you have to say it just right, or she will correct you!) or "Pretty pretty POOP!" She likes to walk around the toilet and investigate it, to see if it bites. It doesn't. We got her a "Zoë" potty and it was like Christmas, again! She was so excited to open it and set it up, but ... screamed bloody murder when we suggested that she sit on it. She does like to have Pinky Baby sit there all day. It's been a few weeks and we are getting used to it for now... reading Potty books and toilet training her doll (except more recently, Zoë put a diaper on Pinky Baby).
• "Happy to you!": We had a birthday party for Zoë the weekend before her birthday. There were 10 kids (!) and their parents(!!) and we all survived. There were balloons, balls, bubbles, bubble wrap (we only play with things starting with "B". Just kidding...), also stickers and pasta necklaces, and ... food! CUPCAKES, naturally. Payesh, very important. And snacks and pasta salad, and ... good times were had by all. Instead of presents, we asked people to donate to a Children's Homelessness organization (Project Night Night), and this idea was very appreciated and we got very nice cards! We bought Zoë a nice train tent (pictures forthcoming!) where she likes to play hide and seek, and especially climb around in with her friend Mary, who also lives in our building and is the same age. Here are some pictures and a video from the celebrations (that's right-- plural! We also had our small family party).
  
  
  
  Also noteworthy... on Zoë's birthday, a sneaky fox (we hear his name's "Swiper" and he makes mischief on Dora the Explorer) stole all of Zoë's bottles ("Oh No!") and so we can only do sippy cups and regular cups now. Swiper is a known bottle thief in our building, Mary also suffers from his acts.
• "A sense of immediacy": In case anyone was unsure about the cleverness of our girl, we have proof. For awhile, Zoë would ask for something and we would say "ok", hoping she would forget, and then when she became more insistent we would modify her request to satisfy our time constraints, like: "Yes, yes... Of course, you can eat chocolate. Tomorrow." So she adapted. She learned the word... "NOW". "I want chocolate NOW!" So now, we are working on understanding the meaning of "No" and "wait".
  
• "Is she at the stage where she throws tantrums in public places? Yet?": We have had one such incident and ... I'm too traumatized to write about it. But this was the question that someone asked me awhile ago. I thought it was funny then. Now I think it is mean. (The nice gentleman had two sons -- 12 and 10, so I guess his wounds have not healed. Yet.)
• "Mommy's Competent" and other verbal gems: We are in the stage where Zoë throws out what she hears. (BEWARE!) On this one occasion, we were reading her report card and we were telling her that we were proud that the school found that she was competent in her growth milestones. Then Daddy said "You will have lots of report cards. Why, even Daddy got a report card from work - Zoë's competent and Daddy's competent". Zoë counters with "No. Mommy's competent." Well, my job's done. Whew. :)
  
• More pictures: Fall in Shenandoah
  
  
  
  Christmas (Caveat Emptor: I did not take many pictures on our trip to CA, so please donate to this album!)
  
  
  
  Thunder Snow event
  
  
  
  Random Winter photos...
  
  
• Videos! :
  
  Food critic-in-training
  
  
  
  Video within a video
  
  

July Part 2: A Very un-Happy Birthday and Other Tales

Here's the next installment in our most recent debacles. The title above should actually read: "Other Tales and a very un-Happy Birthday", since that will be order of discussion... (in case you care for an outline. How very scientific of me, I know...)

I start with a "Zoë is growing up" story. The first (of many, I suspect) Zoë versus Mom episode(s). We didn't do the whole sleep training thing. Zoë sleeps in our bed, we transfer her to her crib -- we sleep better without fighting her and she sleeps better too. But, this particular Friday night Zoë threw a fuss when transferring her to her crib. Back to letting her fall asleep in our bed, ... transferring her. Again, a fight. This pattern continued 3 times until it was 1am-- 3 hours after she first went to sleep. Finally, I had it. She's old enough now to understand that her bed is the crib and that there are boundaries. She's also simply too big to sleep in our bed with us, comfortably. And... it is a Friday night, so if there's ever a time to lay down the law, this is the time. So... I embark upon the battle of wills.

It is epic, it is fierce, it ends with Mom winning the battle. I will not relive it all here and now. However, here are some highlights:

• There was some rationalizing: "Zoë, you are old enough to sleep in your crib now without much fuss. We still love you. A lot of people love you a lot... (list of names), but you can't sleep in our bed anymore. You are a big girl. And when you wake up, you will see moon -- but even moon is sleeping now. So it's best if we all sleep soon." (Sadly, by the end of this process, both moon and Sun were on the brink of rising).
  
• Zoë understood all this. She nodded. She pointed at the window. "Moon", she said. More nodding. Less sobbing. She pointed at Daddy, "Dadda" she said (who, by the way, was snoring blissfully at this point. HOW???). She pointed at me, "Mama". She pointed at herself, "Zozo". There was complete understanding ... until "WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" when I put her back into her crib. Lots of kicking, lots of screaming, lots of thrashing. All understanding undone. Back to square one.
  
• At one point, I found myself saying: "Zoë, I know you are stubborn. But you didn't get that trait from your father. Cry all you want. Scream all you want. But this time, I will out-stubborn you. So there!"
  
• The statement above was made with me kneeling on the floor, arms dangling over the crib railing. How ironic that while I was not granted any sleep, my arms were fast asleep, now throbbing from the numbness. Sigh.
  
• Patting, bursts of screams, more patting, lots of shushing... for ~2 hours. Sleep. My armpits hurt, but sweet sweet sleep at last.
  

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We have joined a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) for fresh produce for the summer. Every Tuesday, we pick up a grocery bag full of farm-fresh produce that is grown biodynamically to be the healthiest and with the least negative environmental impact. Zoë enjoys cleaning and learning about her food too! Here, you see her playing with the garlic, whose stalk is taller than she!

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WARNING: Like Lemony Snicket, I warn you and possibly discourage you from reading any farther if self-pity and tales of woe deeply depress you.

So, ten years married and 32 years on this Earth... and yet, the momentous day started with poor Zoë puking on poor me (aka, birthday girl). Zoë's school had an outbreak of Hand Foot and Mouth, which is NOT Foot and Mouth (despite the creative naming similarities). In this case, the name comes from the outbreak of blisters on the hand, foot and mouth (see here). The main concern with the disease is that the mouth blisters become so painful that children will stop eating or drinking and will become weak and dehydrated over the week long healing process. Zoë didn't have any of the symptoms except a few blisters on her heel and maybe a few on her hand. With the recent mosquito bites it was hard to tell definitively anyway (bonus: she can now say "bug bite!").

Other than throwing up, she did have a slight fever a few days earlier, and just seemed a little tired in general -- poor Zoë was missing her usual sparkle. When I called the school to share the news, the director told me that in addition (ooh! how exciting!) to this Hand Foot and Mouth, the school also had a recent confirmed case of Roseola. Back to the internet to research this one. Roseola has symptoms of incredibly high fevers (like >104 degrees F!) followed by a full body rash. Zoë's fever was much milder... but on close inspection, she was covered by small dots! Super.

Next: call the Doctor to make an appt. Followed by the call to cancel the appointment at Vidalia, the much anticipated restaurant where I was supposed to enjoy a nice birthday lunch with my husband. "Is this how birthdays go for grown-ups?" I think... closely followed by thoughts of worry and concern and "what if's" -- after all, we have had > 6 months of near-constant barrage of illness and none of us had any immunity left to fight another aggressive illness. Now what?

The Dr. barely walked five feet into the room and declared: "Roseola. Classic case." He then checked her temperature, ears, throat, ... I asked him to look at the blisters on the heel: "Are these also related to the Roseola?" He looked a little surprised and said that that was probably Hand footh and mouth. SHE'S GOT BOTH?!?? "Yup! They are different viruses, so no reason she can't have both" and that was that. He made it sound like I should be thrilled that she was chosen by the germ Gods to bestow both illnesses (mis-directed birthday gifts, perhaps?) upon our lucky little one-- Is that like having your birthday cake and eating it too? Luckily(if that's the right word-- silver lining outlook...!) she appeared to have a mild case of both SIMULTANEOUSLY.


Unlike Alice's very happy unbirthday, this birthday was my very unhappy birthday-- a backward day. You know? Where good is bad... and in kind, my birthday this year would instead be celebrated on July 21st. I started a list of 32 reasons that this birthday sucked (the self-pity oddly made me feel much better), but just at the moment that I got to #23 (note: that is 32 backward!!!) Stephanie wished me a happy day and gave me several reasons that I should feel good about myself and my special day. I received birthday wishes throughout the day and I realized that I did have many blessings to count. I did make it to Vidalia. Zoë is better and stronger now. This year I got the best gift of all-- I got a do-over. Two birthdays, two chances to appreciate my life, my family, my friends and our health, two opportunities to gain wisdom and perspective in this often too hurried life. And, my wonderful, supportive husband brought home a cake worthy of pictures, memories, and a few extra pounds.

One!

Hey everyone,

I turned one a whole week ago! It was a great party. Small and intimate, but good fun with old friends. Hey, Rumadida was even at my Mom's first birthday-- so these are dear friends indeed. I really enjoyed opening my birthday presents. Besides Lars, my Austrian teddy bear, and a handknit sweater (in Cal colors-- Go Bears!) from Mom, I received many pink and red (yay, I'm a Valentine's Day baby!) outfits from Aunt Michele and my cousins and from Didun and Dadu, and other toys too. It was fun because everyday there was more mail and more presents, from my Grandparents and from Ninamashi and Boris. See? I think people must really LOVE me! And people called and wrote nice messages on Facebook for me. And my Daddy bought me a special walking toy that I can push around the hallway (but it is in the mail and not yet here). So my birthday actually lasted this whole week, and longer!

Anyway, the presents were nice. But the cupcake was AMAZING -- I think I want to have a birthday every day because then I can make a mess and spread crumbs everywhere and eat sweet, yummy, goodness. Here are some pics of the grand event. (Oh! If you click on the slideshow, it will take you to the Picasa website where you can see the pictures a little better and print or download).



But in case you aren't convinced how much I truly enjoyed the chocolate cupcake, here's a video. I can't even stop to clap ("thai thai") at my artistic endeavors. I am far too busy eating, no, RELISHING, my treat.

And here are some more random pictures of me since a few weeks ago. I've grown and am doing interesting things... like playing with dishwashers, finding new places to hang out, and feeding myself.



Ok-- that's all I have to report for now. Maybe in a few weeks I will have some more exciting news, like... saying words or first steps, or feeding myself with a spoon. These are the things that my parents are anxiously awaiting (and I CAN do them, sort of... but I like to wait and see them squirm. Shhhhh... don't tell them!)

Love,
Zoë

p.s. One of the teachers at school overheard me saying "baby" but I think I convinced my parents that it was only a fluke. They are so gullible. Ha.