... is like hostage negotiation (or so I imagine).
Loud crying... "I WANT SGHSKGOWG"
"Zoë, when you cry like that I can't tell what you want. I need you to stop crying and clearly state your demands."
"NOoooooooo... " Escalating volume of crying.
"I am leaving the room until you stop crying. I will not negotiate with a loud cry baby. We will talk when you calm down." (Help! I need reinforcements.)
"BAHHhhhhhh... I WANT lsbjsdgbksgbslkgjb, MOMMY, NOWWWWWW"
"What? You want juice? Until you stop screaming and step away from the mirror, I can't talk with you."
"NOOOOOOOO." Wild thrashing and dangerous, erratic movements. Keep head down, go for the tackle. Deposit screaming two-year old in safe crib. Run.
So went the afternoon. Finally, I got her settled and down for her nap. We call that a win-win situation. Now I need a nap.